


young forever

by candlelightnana



Series: vent fics [3]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Another vent fic, Depression, Eating Disorder, Eating Disorders, I Don't Even Know, M/M, Referenced Death, Starving, bro a mess an absolute mess, implied suicide
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-06-19
Packaged: 2020-05-15 01:29:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 774
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19285321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/candlelightnana/pseuds/candlelightnana
Summary: jaemin comes back home after a trip to korea and is surprised by his boyfriend and that he's not doing well at all.





	young forever

**Author's Note:**

> TW eating disorders, death and implied suicide
> 
> ahhhhh this is a mess that i again wrote at 1 am
> 
> would anyone be interested in me explaining what all of this has to do with my real life at the end of each vent fic? if yes comment below uwu

the doors opened and as he stepped into the airport he could hear a lot of voices. everyone was busy and walking around fast. the woman who sat a row behind him on the plane accidently hit him with her luggage as she was heading to the exit.

“i'm sorry!” she gave him an apologetic smile.

“it's fine, no worries.” he could barely breathe, all the people around him and the noises were just too stressful.

he looked to the ground, starting to walk into the same direction as the woman.

he only looked up once he left the gate and got past security, looking for a familiar face.

it took him a bit but as soon as he saw him, a smile crept onto his face. he sped up a little and then a little more until he was full on running until he jumped into the other’s arms.

before he knew it there were tears in his eyes.

“i missed you so much.” he heard a chuckle.

“i missed you too nana.”

jaemin pulled himself out of the embrace and looked at the other boy. 

“you lost weight.” it wasn't a question nor a compliment. he was sad.

“i thought you were doing better. you promised me-”

“jaemin please not here,” the other pleaded, “we can talk about it at the apartment.”

jaemin wasn't satisfied but he didn't want to cause a scene in public, so he just took his way too skinny hand and continued to the exit.

the ride to their apartment was accompanied by awkward silence. none of the two knew how to break it.

-

“what happened?” jaemin tried to be calm whole holding his tea cup in both of his hands, ignoring the pain the hot liquid caused his skin.

“i- i don't know. i guess i just couldn't do it on my own. it's okay though, i'm feeling okay.” the boy said with a reassuring smile.

but jaemin knew to look deeper and saw the emptiness in his eyes.

“how much?”

“it's- only 9 kg, it's probably mostly food wei-”

jaemin jumped from his chair.

“9 kg? are you serious? i've been away for two weeks for fucks sake.” he was angry. not at the other. at himself. for leaving him alone. he fell back into his seat and felt tears in his eyes.

“i'm sorry. i shouldn't have gone.” he hid his face behind his hands.

“it's not your fault.” his voice was almost inaudible.

-

later that day they were sitting on their couch, jaemin watching his boyfriend who was wrapped into a soft blanket. the light of the fire was dancing on his face. his face once looked beautiful. now he had dark shadows under his eyes and all of his cheek fat was gone, all you could see was bones. he looked tired, exhausted.

“is it okay if we order take out?” jaemin asked, trying to be cautious.

“i'm- i mean i guess. yeah.” he didn't want to, it was obvious. but he wanted to try. for the boy he loved.

-

“i got you your favourite!” nana exclaimed happily.

they were sitting at their wooden table. the other boy was facing the window, watching the city unfold outside of their apartment. he was scared.

“it's okay if you don't eat everything, you know? just please try.”

he nodded.

jaemin started talking about his trip to korea. he visited their old friends and his family, went to all the places they loved.

-

“i'm proud of you.” he smiled sleepily.

“i told you it's not that bad this time. i'll get better soon, i promise.”

-

“i miss him.” he knew immediately who jaemin was talking about.

“i know. i do too.”

“i visited him, you know? in korea. i went to his grave.”

“i haven't been there since that day.”

“i know. we moved away soon after.”

“do you think we should've stayed? we shouldn't have left him behind.”

“you know that he wants us to move on.”

“and i also know that he should've known that i won't be able to just do that.”

“he was hurting. you can't be mad at him.”

“of course i can be mad at him. he left us. for selfish reasons.”

“don't say that,” jaemin's voice was shaking, “he didn't know what else to do, you read his letter.”

they had never talked about it like that. it was a topic they successfully avoided. so talking about it now was even more hurtful.

“he loved us.”

“yeah, he did.”

“we should get some sleep.”

“you're right. good night jaemin, i love you.”

“i love you more. good night jeno.”


End file.
